


Now That I'm Older (My Heart's Colder)

by cherryvanilla



Series: Wake Up [2]
Category: South Park
Genre: Character Study, Companion Piece, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-26
Updated: 2011-11-26
Packaged: 2017-10-26 13:56:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/284016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryvanilla/pseuds/cherryvanilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I guess we'll just have to adjust." - Companion piece to Children, Don't Grow Up</p>
            </blockquote>





	Now That I'm Older (My Heart's Colder)

Kenny never even thought of using Mysterion on a personal level until the night Karen cried so hard at their parents’ screaming and fighting that she could barely breathe from the excitement and barely see through the tears. He didn’t see himself as someone who could comfort her, didn’t think he was the person she needed at that moment. So he threw on his costume, climbed in her window and sat on the ledge, waiting for her to notice.

She called him her guardian angel that night and never stopped. From that point on, Mysterion wasn’t just someone who fought crime; he tried to fix a broken child in a fucked-up broken home. Just because it was too late for Kenny (he was jaded, weary, disillusioned by relationships and the way people hurt one another) didn’t mean Karen was a lost cause. She was still innocent, caring, gentle and kind. Kenny could give her hope, give her a fantasy. He’d give her anything she wanted.

___________________________

Over the years, being Karen’s angel did as much for him as it did for her. He could be someone else, something a person actually needed. He felt like he had a purpose. Karen loved him as Kenny, he knew that, but it wasn’t enough – not for him and maybe not for her. As Mysterion he could do anything, be anything he wanted, and answer to no one. So he threatened and beat up those who hurt Karen, and was always there to reassure her she wasn’t alone, even if she’d gone to him as Kenny only a few hours before.

A few times he did tell his mom off for not being there, for being selfish and drunk and neglectful. He didn’t feel comfortable in his skin, facing her without the costume. His palms perspired and he longed for the comfort of his gloves. She yelled back, barely making sense, and the entire argument was pointless in the end. She may say she loved them, that she didn’t want anything to happen to them, but she was always showing it in moments that were too little, too late.

_____________________________

Kenny continued to die, again and again. After a while, even death didn’t hurt, no matter what the circumstances of his demise were. Sometimes it was difficult to sit around and listen to the petty playground bullshit and school drama when he knew what death was like, had seen things no one else had. As Karen grew, his visits as Mysterion were largely infrequent. He was grateful for this but also missed being her anonymous protector all the same. Sometimes, he’d dress in the costume and patrol the streets like he used to. One night he found himself at Kyle’s house and couldn’t help but climb up to the window. Kyle was still awake, laptop on his legs, face scrunched up in concentration. He looked up at the sound of the window opening.

“What the fuck? Who are you?” Kyle yelled, his voice high and angry.

“You don’t remember me?”

Kyle squinted. “I.. Kenny?”

Kenny’s eyes narrowed beneath his mask. “No. Mysterion.”

Kyle rolled his eyes. “Seriously, Kenny, cut it out.”

He swung his legs through the window and stalked toward the bed. “I said,” he rasped out, “my name is Mysterion, Kyle.”

Kyle throat worked and he met Kenny’s eyes with an intensity he’d only dreamed seeing directed at him.

“Okay.. Mysterion. What did you… need?”

Kenny sat on Kyle’s bed and licked his lips. He’d had boys, girls, men, women. He was 16 and he’d been having sex for two years. He did things that could probably get some people thrown in jail. Yet the only person he ever truly wanted was sitting across from him and ironically, it was also the one person he could never bring himself to make a move on.

“This,” he replied, and leaned in slowly, watching Kyle carefully. His eyes were wide but he wasn’t pulling back. Kenny pressed their lips together slowly, barely moving. With everything he’s done, kissing had somehow always fallen last when it should have been first. He traced Kyle’s lips with his tongue before sliding it inside. Their mouths moved at a maddeningly slow pace and it was perfect, it was exactly what he wanted. They parted, both breathing heavily. Kyle touched the mask around his eyes.

“I’m glad you came back,” he said.

Kenny felt his stomach flip and in that second realized maybe this was a bad idea. It was bad to need people, to want them. It only ended in heartache.

“I have to go,” he said, hastily and was out the window before Kyle finished saying his name. Not Mysterion’s; his.

The next day at school, Kenny found a note slipped inside his locker. _Meet me after school in the alley behind the laundromat. – K._

Kenny sighed but knew he’d be going. He arrived as Mysterion, even though it was a risk.

Kyle was leaning against the wall, one leg bent against the brick, looking at his phone. When he looked up, his lips parted in surprise. “I said for _you_ to meet me.”

Kenny shrugged and stepped into Kyle’s space. “And here I am.”

Kyle shook his head, an amused smile playing on his lips. “Are you having a personal identity crisis?”

Kenny thought about that. “It’s definitely possible.”

Kyle ran his fingertip up the side of Kenny’s costume, skittering over his ribcage. “I like you either way. That’s what I wanted to tell you.”

Kenny frowned, eyebrows drawn together. “You never said so before,” he rasped out.

Kyle considered that, looking down and then back up at him. “I think I needed you to make a move.”

“Since when are you shy?”

“Since when are you?” Kyle retorted back, hotly.

“Fair enough,” he said, stretching his arm out beside Kyle.

They looked at one another and smiled, and Kenny wasn’t sure about Kyle but he definitely did feel shy in this moment, and that was a first.

“You should kiss me,” Kyle said, raising his chin and Kenny didn’t need to be told twice.

It was as slow and exploratory as last night, learning the curves and shapes of one another’s lips. “You taste like fruit rollups,” Kyle said against his mouth.

“Want one? I carry them with me,” he mumbled against Kyle’s lips.

“And here I thought you were happy to see me.”

They looked at one another, laughed, and started kissing again.

And for some reason, Kenny felt he could just do this all day and nothing else.

__________________________

When Karen told him what she saw, he didn’t know what to say and moreover, couldn’t possibly comprehend her insistence that Kyle was in love with her guardian angel. He supposed 12 year old girls thought any two people kissing were in love. He almost told her the truth but found he couldn’t. Even if she didn’t need him as much lately, he still needed her.

He hated himself for wanting to believe her words, but maybe they were true. Maybe love wasn’t just for Disney films and fairytales.

By the end of their talk, he was pretty sure she’d figured him out but wasn’t about to tell. That’s why he loved her; sometimes she knew him better than anyone.

He went to bed that night, replaying her words over in his head. He got a text message on his crappy tracfone just as he was almost asleep. _Come to my house tomorrow. Whichever one of you_.

He smiled to himself and thought maybe, just maybe, he’d leave the costume behind.

[end]


End file.
